As long as you are there part 2
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: When Ethan is captured, Sayid's newgained happiness is threatned. He must make the decision of whether he should torture Ethan, a choice between losing the one he love, or being hated by the rest of the camp. COMPLETE
1. Like a boy with a crush

_Author's Note: Sniff, sniff, I only had one review, if you read this then please review it, that will make me so happy, no matter what it says. My great thanks to Mortica Black Rose, who is my only reviewer...Well, as you would like to read more of it, I have an opportunity of typing more up. This was written between in April, the Last one I wrote in March. This is Part 2 of my series, so readers please read part 1 first. And please pardon my numerous typos and grammars mistakes._

_Warning: If you are a fan of John Locke or/and Boone, then you might be offended, as I don't like these two and have place them as rather unfavorable characters in my story. Also, if Religious themes and issues offend you, please don't read this as this story will have strong Christian views._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of lost, if I do, Sayid will come out way more. _

They nestled together on the beach, lazily watching the waves lapsing to their feet. It was still dawn, so the island was silent.  
"It is as if we are continuing our honeymoon." Minta said in wander, resting her head on her husband's shoulder. "I am so glad that we have this chance of doing so."  
"I wish we can stay like this forever." Sayid agreed. "But yesterday, Jack said the following to me. 'Sayid, since you left the group for a whole week, then spent another week doing pretty much nothing, the unsorted works can probably be accumulated into a watchtower.'"  
"I wouldn't have though Jack capable of such a humor."Minta laughed slightly. "And what did you tell him?"  
"'No problem then Jack! As these invisible paperwork will save us!' But Minta, I think I do need to stop spending the whole day and night with you."

she pouted and Sayid smiled as this childish gesture, he was so relief that her spirits were raising once more.

"I suppose he is right, and I do need to contribute too, after the breakdown…" here she trailed off and even trembled slightly. Sensing even the slightest hint of her uneasiness, Sayid squeezed her hand assumingly. "I've made a few pots but that's all. I ought to help Sun in her gardens, or help with the fishing."

"As long as they're better then your golfing skills." He teased, pulling her even closer. "For a whole fortnight everyone in the apartment would ask me: 'did you have a fight with your partner, Mr Daniel? Because we are really concerned about that black eye.'"

Laughing in their memories, they kissed and leant together. Seeing the sun rising, feeling the waters wavering. Slowly the bustle of the first lot of people began. Regretfully, Sayid hoisted Minta up to her feet.

Sayid! Sayid!"Hurley yelled as he bounced down toward the couple on the beach, waving his two hands madly.

"Yes, my friend?"Sayid asked, smiling, he couldn't really be mad now that he finally reconciled with Minta.

"I'm doing a census."Hurley explained, seeing the nod of approval he continued hopefully. "And I'm checking it against the manifest. So if you can answer my questions, then somehow with Minta…"

At this Sayid hitched an eyebrow toward his wife, so only the three people she told him about knows the truth of her speaking ability. After a whole week since he returned, he would have thought that they had worked out that she was not just snapping her mouth open and shut for the fun of it.

"Ok, name and nationality…"

"Sayid, Sayid Daniel. I am Iraqi."

"That's your last name?"Hurley muttered in slight bewilderment."No offense dude, but that just does not sound Arabic."

"It is not Arabic."Sayid replied easily."Daniel is the name my following Christian brethrens gave me."

"Wait, wait! I'm just getting this down. Religion: Christianity."Hurley yelled in panic.

"Is this part of your question?"

"No, but it might be helpful. I have to admit, I thought you are Muslim."

"Oh of course, because I'm Iraqi I'm Muslim."There was an edge to Sayid's voice and Minta patted his hand in sympathy, she knew about religious stereotyping too well.

"Sorry dude, I really am. Next question: Age."

"Thirty four."

"Occupation?"

"Maths teacher in America. When I lived in Iraq I was a soldier, a communication officer."This was partly true as he had been a communication officer before he was placed to another post. Right now, apart from Minta and him, only six other people know about his other job. He intended it to stay that way.

"Reason for traveling on the flight?"

"On my way back from my honeymoon in Australia, I lived in America."Speaking the word'honeymoon'made Sayid look at his wife tenderly, smiling at her in pure joy.

Hurley nodded and turned to Minta, she had a slight look of oriental in her. This was because her parents were Jews who migrated from Russia, from the part near the borders of China. Thus, she looks rather Asiatic.

Hurley started to gesture and mime, causing Sayid to laugh. His laughter only encouraged the other man to make his actions more chaotic and fast paced.

"Thought I'd join you when I saw Hurley interrupting you two's little tryst." Sawyer called out as he made his way beside them. Seeing the sweating Hurley and the laughing Sayid, he asked: "So what's all this?"

"Hurley's census."Minta said sweetly, making Hurley literally dropping his pen and gaped at her. It was American English that popped out from her mouth, as a first language instead of a second one."My name is Minta Daniel, Sayid Daniel's wife. Although on your manifest I might be written as Shachariya Minta Daniel. I'm American, a twenty three year old potter.

"Any other questions?"

Seeing the shook of his head Minta decided. "Alright, I will then go and ask Michael about fishing."

"I'll help." Sayid said eagerly, ignoring Sawyer's snort.

Hand in hand, they walked away, beaming at one other. Sawyer sighted and a note of envy was actually in his voice. "He really is a lucky man."

(Blank)

They easily located Michael, who- in the company of Jin and Sun, about to start fishing. At the sight of Sayid he backed away slightly. Sayid couldn't blame him as he was one of witnesses to Sawyer's full interrogation. Luckily, both Jin and Sun smiled at him warmly. Jin immediately shook Sayid's hand; the two men had a connection due to their common actions in the past.

Sayid suggested to Minta that he would help but he was probably more a distraction then an aid, although he was able to spear a fish rather well now. He had his arms around her hand which held the spear, and very often his mouth would come to contact with her body.

"You shouldn't be doing this."Minta said half-heartedly as she was relishing in his kisses and embrace. After a whole week of separation and longer times of instability, she didn't want to let him go at all.

"Do you really want me to stop?" he asked wickedly, planting another kiss on her neck.

She shook her head.

Inevitability, their pleasant interlude was interrupted. A furious Jack stormed down the beach in the company of Kate, who seemed rather amused.

"Sayid! I know that you love her but must you spend the whole day with your wife? There are tons of works that you can do and instead you are just behaving like a boy with a crush, having to be with the object of his affections every single moment."He practically yelled.

Jin muttered something in Korean to his wife which made her smile. Turning to Sayid and Minta, she translated:"My husband just want to say that he understand your actions perfectly as after we made up, he doesn' want to let me go to."

"I'm so happy for you and Jin!"Minta cried out.

"Everyone seems to have forgotten that we are stuck on an island, this is not a honeymoon hotel!"Jack said in exasperation."That golf course was a mistake."

"Golf course?"Sayid and Minta asked in disbelieve at the same time.

Someone was about to answer when they suddenly saw Charlie running out from the forest, screaming and sobbing at the same time. Sayid immediately let the soldier part of him take over. Giving Minta a soft kiss he quickly ran up, sensing rightly that something urgent had happened.

_Author's note: In teh first few paragraphs I thought I finally figured out about paragraphing but then the document went nuts, I try to space and my words get deleted, though it's back to the blank theory._


	2. I actually want to be his friend

_Author's Note: Yeah I got more review! I got so happy, even though it is only two more._

_**Mortica Black Rose: **glad that you want to read more of it, here's a few more chapters, I only have time to type it out in the weekend now that I'm back in school, I typed out part 1 in one go as I was on holiday._

_**October Sky: **I'm happy that you think Part one is really good, I hope you will read the rest of the series! By the way, I really like your Sayid central story, any chance of another one? _

_I finally saw Episode 17 (New Zealand is really behind with the broadcasting) and the Shayid things are so cute (I had to make do with reading scripts and fan fictions to keep up to date. I read Episode 21 the other day and it is so sad…I almost wanted to cry at what happened._

_Disclaimer: See first page._

"…so this is how Ethan took Claire." Charlie finished.

Locke immediately reached out a hand to pat the ex-druggie on the back. "It is not your fault Charlie, you did your best."

"But Claire is still gone." Charlie whispered. "Claire is still in danger."

"I will hunt Ethan down, I can follow the tracks…" Locke began, but was immediately interrupted by Jack.

"You are not going alone anywhere, we have already figured out that this island is not safe."

"I appreciate it but son, I am the hunter, you are the doctor, you are needed in both the caves and the beaches." Locke explained patiently. He took out his box of knifes and continued. "And I will not be alone, I can manage with Boone, I have taught him enough about the art of knife throwing."

The clicking sound of the safety made them all turned around sharply. Sawyer was holding the gun from the marshal, while Sayid was filling up the rifle he took from Danielle.

"With all due respect to your knifes I think these two 'trinkets' will be very helpful." Sawyer said easily. "Finder keeper, so Sayid and I will be going too."

"Who else better suited other then the hunter? The ex-soldier." Sayid said very calmly. "I am skilled in tracking and hunting too Locke, and you know it."

"If they are all going then I am too!" Charlie stated, clenching his fists. "I don't care if I have no weapons, I will use my bare hands if I have to."

Sayid knew and recognize a determined face when he sees one. Nodding he walked to Charlie and offered him the rifle. "Fire by pulling the trigger." He explained simply before he went to Locke and stretched out a hand. "I can use a knife well enough."

After a day of hard hiking Locke insisted that they all take a rest. Sayid and Sawyer both saw the logic behind it so they willingly agreed, while Boone never listened contra to his 'mentor's' words. The only one who hesitated was Charlie.

"Ethan is a man too." Locke explained. "He will need to rest like us. Beside, you can't continue tracking him if you are in danger from sleep exhaustion."

"I'll take the first watch then." Sayid stated.

"I'll keep you company." Sawyer offered.

The two men looked at each other and smiled knowingly. Now that they finally put aside their prejudice and hatred, they were willing to learn more from the other. Being best buddies may not be the goal, but ending up with a genuine friendship would be a good thing for the two of them, who found it so difficult to make friends.

"Night like this make me remember my times in the army." Sayid finally broke the silence. He had been sharpening his knife, staring across the fire. "The first few years when I had watches. I guess being deserted on this island and doing the act of basic survival is not so alien to me."

"Unlike everyone you mean? A spinal sergeant, a clothing retail spokesperson, a rock star…" Sawyer laughed in agreement.

"But some are clearly suited for this life." Sayid added darkly, glancing down at the knife. "I do not know why but I do not really trust him. Yet Charlie will willingly stake his life alongside with Boone's to vouch for him."

"I do share a similar distrust but I think we are just those loners who find trusting too hard." Sayid said with great feelings. "After all, I have personal experience with paranoid suspicions too well, when you were pulled out of line at the airport…"

_Flashback_

_Minta was behind him, her hands hanging limply at her side, a reflection of her vacant eyes. He tried to take her hand but she withdrew it, her eyes filled with fear._

"_Watch it!" the man behind them yelled when Minta accidentally bumped into him._

_Sayid was going to apologize, but then he saw the man. He was an European-American, slightly taller then him with blondish hair and blue eyes. Sayid bite his apology back as the man was staring at them with a haughty contempt, clearly because of their skin colour._

"_Mr Daniel." The woman behind the checkout counter halted the first argument between Sayid and the other man: Sawyer. Turning away abruptly Sayid faced the counter once more._

"_Due to this part," The woman said gently, keeping her voice very low so the man behind them would not overhear. "You do have to talk with a senior staff. But I really don't think that this would prevent you two from boarding."_

_Soon enough one of the senior staff arrived, and he just happened to be a rather bulky man. He tapped Sayid on the shoulder briskly and ordered: "This way please, Mr Daniel."_

_He led Sayid to one of the small offices in the air port. In a very warm manner he poured out two cups of coffee for them. Sayid grasped the hot mug in deep gratitude, while Minta continued to fix her eyes on the ground, ignoring the world._

"_The doctor said on this paper that your wife is suffering from mental disorder." The staff said as he took the medical certificate out. "The next bit if just a procedure I have to do, more like a ritual. I just need to ask you two a few questions…"_

"_She doesn't talk." Sayid interrupted sadly. "She wouldn't talk anymore."_

"_I am sorry." The man said sincerely. "I am sorry to ask this too, but will she be a danger…"_

"_A danger? How can she be a danger to anyone? Look at her!" Sayid sobbed, his tears finally spilling. "She just sits there and stares at God know what._

"_She had a nervous breakdown." He took a deep breath and tried to continue unaffectedly. "She tried to…to drown herself. Afterwards she just stopped talking to anyone, other then that nothing is wrong with her…"_

_The staff nodded in sympathy as he turned away to prepare their boarding pass. Sayid thought there would be no more words but much to his surprise, the staff suddenly said: "Three years ago my daughter tried to kill herself when her boyfriend dumped her." He continued as the downcast husband stood beside him to hear the soft whispers. "For the week after we brought her home from the hospital she just shut herself in her room and cried. Eventually she started to communicate very slowly. As long as you continue to love your wife, it will be alright."_

_Sayid thanked the man as he pocketed the boarding pass with his new hope. On their way out he tried to take her hand again. He would keep on trying, he would show her that he was not the same man he had been and proof his love to her._

_She wasn't focusing on him so he gently guided her through the corridors, pushing the trolley with his spare hand. He thought of how they had boarded the plane to Australia, she had been listing out all the dreams she had dreamt of living out._

Sayid sighed as he ended his recollection. Even though things did end up 'alright', he still didn't want to brood on the past pains too much.

"Why did you…" Sawyer asked, remembering his other accusations.

"The hands under the blanket?" Sayid laughed. "It is rather…silly."

"Sayid, I'm sitting here and talking to a man who two weeks ago, shoved bamboos into my hands. The crazy part is that I actually want to be his friend. So try me."

"All of a sudden I loathed the sight of my own hands, I used them to kill, to torture people. Now my wife was trembling whenever I touched her. I just didn't want to see my hands and I wasn't hungry or thirsty either, so I could just keep them under the blanket the whole time."

Far from them Locke was watching the two men in disapproval, this had not been in the part of his plan. He had not wanted the two men to be a speaking terms, therefore he had planted Minta's pot in front of Sawyer's tent. Now it seemed to be much worse: the two were becoming friends.

_Author's Note: I have no idea about the airplane security in regard to illness, as I've never been sick when I traveled on an airplane so… But I presume it might be possible for someone to especially treat Minta. This was my version of why Sayid was pulled out of the line, I am disappointed to still not know the real story…I really thought I'd find out in Episode 21._


	3. I want him to stay away from Sayid

The island was still split into two groups, those on the beach and those in the cave. Minta naturally lived on the beach with her husband now that he was back, although she never once did stayed in the caves as Sayid had intended her to do so during his first departure.

But the two group really only separate during the latter half of the day, in the morning and noon most people mingled at the beach or caves. Minta knew that even if Sayid was forced to go living in the caves, he would still be spending all of his days on the beach.

She was wrapped in a shawl that Sayid had found for her. She twirled her fingers around the rich tassels as she relived how Sayid had mentioned his concern of the wind being too chilling for her. He had then lovingly draped this magnificent shawl onto her, his hands gently guiding the shawl onto the right place.

"Oh, everything makes me think of him." Minta said in frustration.

"Sayid is certainly skilled, you shouldn't worry about him." Sun reassured her younger companion gently.

"I know he should be safe but yet I can't stop worrying. All the what ifs keep on playing inside my head." Minta groaned, now digging her fingers into the laced pattern of the soft wool. "The last time Sayid left he was captured and almost…"

As soon as Sayid had turned away and leave with the rest after giving her an embrace and a kiss, Minta immediately went to find Sun in the hope of distracting herself from her worries.

Seeing that she was risking working herself to hysteria Sun sought to distract the girl. Her eyes were suddenly caught on the shawl Minta was wearing, leaning forward she took a small fistful of the material and studies it closely.

"This is a very good shawl." Sun said, adding: "I mean good quality.", after Minta's light answer of: "Of course it is a good shawl, Sayid gave it to me." She continued: "A shawl made by Prada. This material is very expensive, this shawl would have cost thousands of dollars."

"Prada?" Minta immediately took the shawl off in a revered fashion as she studied it intensely, slightly diverted from her thoughts. This shawl could well be worth more then all of her cloths added up, and maybe even with Sayid's. Due to her parent's ignorance she would wear extremely cheap cloths from second-hand retails as she had to use the money from her part time job in buying basic stationeries and other essentials. Later on, when she had a full time job as a potter she would contribute to half the house-hold's expense, but at least she moved up to warehouses instead.

"I have never worn anything so expensive before." She said softly, her eyes moved down to her blue dress. Until this shawl, that dress was her most valuable dress as it was brought from a proper cloth shop. "I have more reasons of treasuring this shawl now, other then the fact that Sayid gave it to me, which is already a very strong basis."

Looking at Minta's shock Sun felt rather guilty as she was so used to strolling around all the department stores and coming out with bags of branded cloths or accessories.

As Vincent raced toward them Minta shrieked and jumped onto a rock, lifting the prized shawl up. Sun made a mental promise that if they ever get off the island she was going to give half of her closet to the young woman.

"Sorry!" Michael explained as he grabbed the dog back. "I am trying to find Walt with him." Sighing deeply he sat down between them. "Had a fight with him first thing in the morning.

Minta patted his back in sympathy while Sun offered some consolation.

"I don't think he'll listen to me though," he said downhearted. "Kids never listen to parents, so maybe one of you two…"

The two women exchanged glances before they burst into laughter.

"Michael, you picked the worst two to talk about parent obedience." Minta finally said. "My parents are fundamentalist Jews while my husband is an Arabic Christian, do you really think my marriage would be approved by them?"

"And me, I wanted to elope with Jin to America." Sun added. "But Michael, what was the fight about? Maybe we can help somehow."

Michael glanced at Minta and muttered. "I want him to stay away from Sayid and Locke. He didn't want to."

Minta smiled gently and said. "Michael, I can understand your reason and concerns perfectly because I once made the same mistake and I was the person closest to him. But Sayid is never going to torture anyone again, after what happened to me and from his own experience with Danielle, Sayid will keep his promise."

"Isn't that what he vowed before he tortured Sawyer?" Michael asked darkly. "And I have heard about the story with Danielle. He would have killed her, he would have killed again after all those incidents.

"And you would drop the rifle and let Danielle shoot you?" Minta asked. "Anyone in his position would have fired, it was a kill or to-be-kill situation. I do not blame him for wanting to live."

_Author's Note: The other day I was at a lost message board, just looking at some of the stuff, and one person was raising his disbelieve at the fact that Sayid would have killed Danielle if that firing pin wasn't there. So I just added the two last paragraphs in._


	4. I will not do what I did again

_Author's Note: For some morbid reason I really enjoyed writing this part of the story. I think it's because of the fact that his actions were wrong, yet we can not fully condemn him for it, so in my fan fiction I can try to explore this idea: He did all these evil things yet it was not all his fault. In Part 2 of my story I think the flashbacks are mainly Sayid's flashback to his life in Iraq._

The night breeze gently blew onto her, half-asleep Minta tightened the blankets around her, her other hand stroking her new shawl. Suddenly she felt an arm wrapped around her, and her face being gently traced with a warm hand, to be followed by a kiss on her forehead.

"Sayid," she murmured happily.

"I told you that I will be fine." He assured her tenderly as she lightly touched his scratches. "They are mostly from the forest. Only this and this was the result of the struggle due to Ethan's capture.

"Is he captured?"

Sayid nodded as he wrapped her shawl around her body, then placed an arm around her.

"Jack says we are all to attend an emergency meeting." Sayid informed her as they walked to joining everyone else. "Claire is safe and Ethan's captured."

Ethan was tied to a bamboo, glaring at the rest of them. A distorted Claire was crying even as Sun whispered soothingly at her. Charlie was pinned by Locke and Boone at one side, swearing at Ethan fiercely.

"What is going to happen?" Minta whispered.

Jack answered for her, and the forty other people. "I think Ethan will likely know many of the answers we had been searching for. So I think I will try to negotiate the information out of him by help from Sayid…"

"No!" Sayid stated angrily, his arms tightening around his wife. "No Jack! I will not do what I did again!"

"Sayid, Ethan might be able to give us information on how to leave the island. We need that information." Jack explained in equal anger, most people murmured in agreement. One even said: "Anything is worth that information."

"You will get no answer from me!" Ethan spat out.

"You shut up!" Sayid smashed his fist into Ethan's face, making the man completely out of cold. Sawyer groaned and put a hand over his face, remembering the time he had received the same treatment.

"Jack, I can not do it again! It is against my principle; my religion; my…"

"Will you not torture Ethan just because this doesn't seem to concern you personally." The doctor yelled back. "But you did not mind it very much last time, in fact you were even eager to torture Sawyer."

"Well done, Sherlock." Sawyer said dryly. "Now everyone knows that Sayid's last job involved more then screwing bolts and nails."

Everyone started to mummer darkly about the Iraqi ex-soldier, one of two comments definitely involved heavy racism and past allusions. Sayid clenched his fists together and turned away, knowing that he would not be able to control himself if he stayed. Minta put her arms over Sayid's, trying to calm him.

"Running away again? For all we know you could have been the one that crashed the plane!" someone called out. "Maybe you were attempting another September Eleventh."

"Because I am Arabic I am responsible." Sayid said bitterly, he looked at the man steadily and asked: "But you are an American in your late fifties so are you not responsible for the My Lai massacre?"

"How dare you accuse me!" The same man roared right into Sayid's face. "I never fought in Vietnam, I was in the protest marches…

"Just as I was in America when September Eleventh happened, and I felt as much sorrow and pain as any of you."

"Proof your alliance by helping us!" another cried out.

"Have you all learnt nothing?" Sayid said very chillingly. "There was a question that I often ask myself, who is wrose? The Torturer or the one who orders the torture? Or I would ponder on the definition of a torturer. I think I come to the conclusion that a torturer is merely someone who is taught the skills of torturing, not because he has the intention of torturing people. Because if that is what a torturer mean, then half of us here are all torturers.

_Flashback_

"_Reporting to duty sir." Sayid said formally, saluting his new commander. "I am Sayid Jarrah. Transferred from the communication department and then into…"_

"_I know." The older officer said easily. "I know as it is I who ordered your shifts. You are an excellent communication officer Sayid, but you have more potential. You were sent to the firing squad for a month as that was the first part of training for your new job."_

_Nodding firmly, Sayid followed onward. He was lead into a bare room that only had a chair in the very middle. On it, was a young man. He was no more older then Sayid, his mouth was gagged and his hands tied together, but the horror in his eyes were unable to be masked._

"_Are you willing to serve your country Sayid Jarrah?" the officer screamed. "Are you willing and prepared to sacrifice your own interest to repay you country's kindness to you?"_

"_Yes sir!" Sayid yelled back, saluting once more._

_He trust believed it, it was not his fault as every country brainwashed their people, especially the soldiers. In the firing squad Sayid had never once hesitated in pulling the trigger. He was carrying out his duty of a soldier, to end the life of those who dared to betray his country, causing harm onto innocent people._

_He superior officer assigned Sayid to be on the firing squad for a whole month as that was the start to preparing him. Even though his new job did not involved killing, in a way it was worse. Torture often mutated the people, leaving them scarred for life, often the killing became the only way of release._

"_I will teach you how to unlock traitors' mouth." His new commander informed him in a very matter of fact tone. "First…"_

_In that afternoon Sayid had his first lesson on interrogation. Carefully he mimicked his teacher's actions, the only difference was that he had a living doll to experiment with._

_The punches and kicks he delivered were not the simple movements in a fight. Sayid was taught on how to do these actions with the full level of pain without making his victims losing conscious._

_By the end of the first lesson his first victim was sobbing and if the gag was off, the screaming would have been hear twrenching. Hence the reason why in the first practice, the victims were always gagged, their gags would disappear only when the trainees' eyes no longer show any pity or feelings at them._

_Sayid leant against the bare wall and looked at his hands with a mixed feeling before he glanced at the man he had just tortured. Knowing that questions and doubt might soon surface, his teacher quickly intervened._

_Putting a hand on Sayid's shoulder he informed the nineteen year old boy with a tone of great pride. "You make Iraq very honored to have you as a servant, Sayid Jarrah, you will certainly do Iraq many more great services._

"_You will be a great interrogator."_

_Author's Note: For those who don't know, the My Lai massacre Sayid mentioned is an incident in 1968 during the Vietnam War, when a bunch of American troops went to the village of My Lai and killed many innocent ordinary villagers. I decided that the grudge of September Eleventh should be mentioned again as I saw a news about how this Arabic lady received a copy of the Koran from with heavy racism sentence in it. I am seriously not trying to be anti-America in this story, but I am anti-racism. I also do think that Jack is wrong in 'Confidence Man' by letting Sayid torture him, in a way he was quite guilty too._


	5. He was only thirteen

_Author's Note: Well, I saw Episode 18 and I had the most bizarre thought: If it isn't for Shannon then Sayid and Danielle might not be such a bad pair. Cause they are both rather capable and intelligent, and both may have been soldiers. By the way, Danielle look really pretty in tonight's episode, or maybe I just didn't notice in "Solitary"._

_Another thing I actually suddenly noticed from Episode 17 was how alike Jin and Sun's story is to the idea in my fan fiction. And I honestly did not intend it to be so identical, I said that I kept up to date reading the script but I did not read every thing word to word, I guess the thing I really really want to read are always Sayid's part so I had quite a surprise… But then my story is not completely identical, Jin only started his involvement with crime after his marriage while in this fan fiction: Sayid went to America with the intention of carrying a clean slate. _

_**Mortica Black Rose: **I feel really touched that you put my story on you story alert list, so I guess I'm not doing so bad if one person really like my story and want to read it as soon as it come out.  This really cheers me up, thank you for all your reviews too, it really help and make me happy, I love reviews!_

_Disclaimer: See first page._

Once more Danielle was approaching the switches, causing the electricity shooting through his body. Writhing in agony he begged her to stop, suddenly remembering a man who had asked the same thing. He knew the man was innocent but yet he continued.

Sayid woke, drenched in cold sweat. Sitting up he had to take quite a few breaths before he could stop his body shaking. He must have caused quite a scene as a large amount of people were circling him, staring at him.

Half of them regarded him with fear, while the other half was disgusted by him. As the crowd slowly broke away Sayid heard one or two muttering a few racial insults to his direction.

"Maybe there is such a thing as Karma." He said bitterly.

Trying to ignore the vicious stares Sayid turned around with the hope of finding comfort in his wife's arms.

He hands grasped the empty blankets beside him.

All at one, his own personal worries vaporized. He only had one sole concern: to find Minta. He didn't need to worry for long though, as he soon heard her voice.

Jack had always thought of Minta as someone so gentle and fragile, but as she stood in front of him and Kate to half scream and half curse him, he realized that she did not always played the protected one in her marriage.

"You see yourself as the one responsible for everyone of us and yet you are doing nothing to stop this racism toward Sayid. What use are you then?" She swore angrily.

"Minta, Sayid is a torturer, it is not an anger of racism."

"He was! Was, not is. And how can you tell me racism doesn't exit after you heard all these insults involving the words Arab and Iraqi! I don't care what you do but you have to do something, you own Sayid this. Due to you, everyone now know the mistake he had made."

The day had already been hard enough for Jack so something inside him simply snapped.

"He tortured people in the name of his country willingly!" he yelled back. "How many hundreds had he tortured mercilessly as he did to Sawyer? No one forced him to torture Sawyer now, did they? He did it for you, how can I trust a man who do these things with his full willingness?" Jack said viciously, and as Minta started to protest, he added. "He always had a choice, he do not need to torture anyone if he truly find it so repulsive. No one could have forced him. I do not blame all the others for being disgusted with him."

"Yes, you are the hero." Sayid remarked out from the cave's entrance, his face very grim and dark. "No doubt you are the martyr, despising me for not being strong enough, hating me for wanting to live. But to you, of course, nothing can be the greater crime then being blinded by a false believe."

"You lived your by the death of the other!" Jack spat out. "But don't pretend to have done those acts due to the sole reason of fear, you did them as you tortured Sawyer, because they will benefit you. You could never have done all these tortures to all those innocent people without mercy if you only did them out of fear."

"He was young!" Minta butted in, resting her hand on Sayid's. "He was a young man with few choices in life so what was he suppose to do? He then did these actions because he was taught that they were his enemies and must be punished…"

Sayid leant his head onto her shoulder and Minta felt hot tears scalding into her skin. "At least you understand now, this is enough." He whispered. "Tell me Jack, you and Michael watched me interrogate…no, why do I still lie? I tortured Sawyer but if you really see me in the obvious wrong then why didn't you stop me?"

"Because of the asthma medications…" Jack began.

"And I tortured these prisoners of Iraq because I thought I was saving lives by finding the traitors that planted bombs in mosques and…schools…and helping those orphaned children like myself. I was merciless during my years in the Republican Guard, yes, I was even cruel. But if you were me, would you have truly show mercy to a killer?"

"You would have been old enough to…"

"He was only thirteen!" Minta screamed. "For goodness sake Jack, when he joined the Republican Guard he was only a boy of thirteen! What were you doing when you were thirteen? What was I doing at thirteen? Certainly not thinking about how to support four other siblings in a country with no beneficial aids!"

_Flashback_

_Sayid accepted his report from his teacher who was bursting with pride as he had graduated as the top of the school, scoring an especially high mark in Maths. But yet the thirteen year old boy looked at his report with no obvious enthusiasm._

"_Sayid, you can easily go to University if you continue with these marks! Right now, you can go to one of the fines school in the country." His teacher said eagerly._

_The young boy shook his head. "I like learning and being in school but I can't continue. Future education will be too demanding, I simply cannot afford to do it. Right now, I only just earn enough from my part time job to pay for our food and house."_

"_What do you plan to do then?" this was asked in great dismay. "You know, your parents would have wanted you to go to University."_

"_I am not their only son, let along the only child.." Sayid said simply. "My parents wanted one of their children to go and by not going to school myself, I will make sure that at least my baby brother can go to university when he reach the age."_

"_What will you do now?" his teacher asked once more._

"_I'll work." Sayid said determinedly. "I will work for whoever that pays me the most. I want to have more food for each meal, right now we are all starving. I figured out that if I start to work now, when Amir reaches eighteen he will have the opportunity of going to the University in Baghdad."_

_His teacher watched Sayid leaving, calling his siblings to him. It was with a great pain to watch the three girls linking hands and skipping gaily, a contrast to Sayid's dragging steps. His baby brother grabbed onto Sayid's pant for protection, still sucking his thumb._

_This particular teacher knew Sayid's family story too well, having been his father's employee. Sayid was born as the son of the local principle and his mysterious young bride from Baghdad. She was a social outcast due to her modern clothing and none-traditional attitudes. She was frowned upon, even though she did cover her body as the law required. But her husband adored her so much that no one dared to suggest anything to him. No one knew why she gave up her superior education at University to come to the much more backward Tikrit._

_Three years after Sayid was born, triplet daughters followed. The couple was to have another son when Sayid was eight years old. A few weeks after his baby brother's birth, his parents died due to a bomb being placed in a classroom. Rumor was then that this was a resistance work against those who worked for the government._

_What was clear was that Sayid was now head of the family. He was no longer the little boy who chased a following classmate around the playground in the attempt of putting mud in her hair, after she shoved his face into the mud. He withdrew from everyone, scavenging food for his siblings._

_At ten he found a part-time job, working as a clerk in the mechanics shop as he was very talented in doing sums. Often, he would watch the mechanic at work, his eyes taking in every detail of the way the numerous pieces are joined._

"_Why don't you become my apprentice?" the mechanic suggested as Sayid started to add up all the earnings. "You will be paid much higher and one day you will be able to open up your own shop."_

"_How much do I get?" Sayid asked steadily. "How much do I earn as an apprentice and then as a master?"_

"_What?" at this cool and precise calculation from a thirteen year old boy, a shook was not unnatural._

"_I want to know the exact amount of money I can make." Sayid repeated. Hearing the pay he shook his head. "That is simply not enough."_

"_Look Sayid, the place to get a very high pay without any further education is in the army but that will be very difficult. The military is very demanding…"_

_Sayid nodded briskly and snapped tha ccounting book shut. He marched out of the shop knowing that he could endure all hardship if he would earn money for his family, he would do anything._

"_And you are only thirteen…." His former employer whispered._

_His age actually didn't intervene at all. No one asked him how old he was until six years later. But by then it no longer mattered as he was old enough._

_Sayid worked a total of fifteen years for the Republican Guard._

_Author's Note: Yes, I know that Sayid only worked for five years and he probably did it after his university education, but hey: this is a fan fiction. Well, when I watched Solitary I thought Sayid was very ambitious as: '_You're my superior office, Omar, for now.' _Bascially in my story, he's doing it cause he thought it was the right thing to do, I supose it's kinda the idea of The Greater Good. But he is not a completely saint who truly believe that this is all for his country, there were also a bit of his own greed and selfishness too.._

_Originally, my idea of Sayid not giong to University was because he didn't have enough money for the fees, but then I did a bit of a read in the encyclopedia and found out that education in Iraq is actually free, so I had to change him into not having the time to be a student._


	6. What will you do in my place?

_Author's Note: Well, due to an assessment coming up, I won't have time to even type out part of it and put it on. So my next update will be two weeks later, instead of being weekly, what I'm trying to do now._

_**Mortica Black Rose:** Thank you very much for the immediate review once more, I guess by writing Sayid doing these work mostly due to his siblings is not too overstretching the line yet. But I do not want to portray him as a saint either, because he isn't. Basically, to describe Sayid's character I think Naveen Andrews did it perfect. "He's human. He's not a good guy or a bad guy. This man is complex and strange."_

_**October Sky:** Glad that you like my first story and is now reading the second (I hope!) So, hope you enjoy this one too!_

When the sun rose the next day, Minta and Sayid was preparing for departure. Sayid was filling up his backpack while Minta wrapped a blanket and any additional tools into a roll.

"What are you two planning?" Sawyer asked suspiciously.

"Sayid is going to make a shelter in the jungle while I am collecting some herbs for Sun." nodding to her husband they began to walk.

"Come on, that story ain't fooling no one!" Sawyer said darkly, chasing after them. "You are just going to keep Sayid company, and he is escaping because of what happened last night."

Sayid stopped his orderly pace and let go of his wife's hand. Seeming to be only adjusting the straps on his backpack, he said very calmly. "I am not escaping. I spent the whole of last night thinking and my current action is my best solution. I need time to decide what I must do, it is not an easy choice. What will you do in my pace, Sawyer?

"I can be a hero to everyone by torturing Ethan and likely gain information that will please our ears, but I will then have to lose the wife I love once more, as well as my God, and I will also hate myself. Yet if I do not lose the ones dearest to my heart, I will be despised by the rest of the camp as I let the chance of leaving the island slip due to my own selfishness.

"Do you know why Minta is with me? Not purely to keep me company, as this may be the last time we can spend our time together. If I torture Ethan, I know she will never forgive me. I should be able to simply say no, but I cannot help but to wander what if I choose the other solution…"

The other man could not answer, he was torn between feeling sorry for Sayid and the disbelieve that he actually had fully forgive him, and felt strong pity for him. The island changed everyone in some way and Sawyer was certainly not completely immune.

"I won't take more then a week. If Jack asks then tell him that I've gone away to employ my hands the right way." Sayid added. "Although I doubt that anyone would even notice, let along care, my absence."

_Author's Note: Yeap, this chapter is finally here: the summary of my story, where Sayid have to choose. _


	7. I will not ruin my chance of redemption

_Author's Note:_ _When I first heard about the plot of Solitary I thought Sayid loved Nadia, but as I watched Solitary I am not so sure. In the end I decided that he loved her as more of a friend, then a lover, but it is a very deep love. This is so hard to explain, as then with The Greater Good. Oh well… By the way, I just wanted a bit of a fluff in my story._

Sayid was wrong. His departure was immediately discovered.

"Where is Sayid? Have any one seen him?" Kate asked, carrying a bundle of woods. "Sun said that she want to talk to him."

"You missed you chance, freckles." Sawyer said dryly. "Sayid decided to retreat into the wood for some meditation."

"He left again?" Kate asked, clearly agitated. "Is it because of what Jack said?"

"I'm glad that you at least have some brain, unlike Jackass." The southerner said with a thick coating of venom. "After he simply declared out Sayid's old profession half of the camp is now deadly scared to him, while the other half is grossed out by him. On top of that, everyone still want him to do their dirty work of torturing Ethan."

"So you and Sayid are now bosom pals?" Kate said angrily. "I am surprise that you are not feeling guilty. Have you realize this Sawyer, but Sayid will not be having his moral struggle if you didn't attempt to hurt his wife. After all, you are the one that first provoked Sayid into torturing anyone once more. Don't pile it all on Jack, you are to be blamed greatly too."

While Kate and Sawyer continued their argument, Sayid was busily fighting another battle; one with the bamboos. He was cutting down branches and weaving twines in order to make a little shelter in the midst of the jungle. A few paces away, Minta was examining herbs and carefully piling them in her basket of flax, thinking of Sun's lessons.

They did not talk much as they were both focusing on their task. When night finally came, they retreated into the shelter, which now consisted four walls made from crisscrossing bamboos.

"Ah, the time of rest." Sayid said as he spread out the rug in the attempt of creating a floor. He felt very light hearted, free from any worries or struggles, the shelter was a protection for the soul as well. Grinning, he teased his wife by saying: "No wonder pioneers have so many children, as what else can they do in such a time?"

Minta blushed slightly as his hand caressed her body suggestively. Her urge was to throw herself into his arms and just spend the majority of the night making love, but she decided to taunt him first.

Feigning a yawn, she said with hesitation. "I feel so tired Sayid…"

The disappointment that quickly flashed in Sayid's eyes instantly gave her heart a little pang, but his gaze immediately switched to one of ultimate tenderness.

"Then come and rest in my arms."

She allowed herself to be embraced very lightly as if she was a bird with wings of glass. When Sayid was preparing to wrap the extra blanket around her gently, she tightened her hold and kissed him with full passion and energy.

"I was hoping that you would think so." Sayid half smiled, half grinned as she pulled him down.

What Minta loved so much about him was his love and tenderness for her. He was defiantly not one of those patriarchal woman-beater her parents labeled and accused him of. In fact, they wouldn't have painted a more wrong picture.

A few hours later Minta laid sleeping, the blanket covering her bare body. Her arms were holding Sayid's left hand, touching the wedding ring, her head laid cradled on his lap. He watched her sleeping with a very content smile, occasionally stroking her face with his free hand.

He recollected the troubled teenager he had first saw, the one that finally took him back to the world again after seven whole years, while Nadia had been the one that drew him away from it. He had loved Minta since the start of their meetings but he had never once dreamt that she would actually be his wife, and loving him back despite all the toils and troubles.

He still believed that Minta was his redemption and gift from God, the sign of forgiveness. The realization that as long as she was beside him and loving him with God, nothing else mattered finally came. It didn't matter if everyone else hate him, because their love was enough.

"I cannot damn myself." Sayid realized, "I will not ruin my chance of redemption. I cannot and I will not."

_Flashback_

_Seven years has pass since he met Nadia once more, understanding that the two of them had both grown so much from the two children who played in the mud. She was not the little girl who coyly smiled at everyone as she flipped her braids back, knowing that most would smile back. While he could not even remember the boy he had once been, when he had no worries other then having his face being shoved into the mud by her._

_Often, he would take out her photo to look at it. For the past seven years he lived for the sole dream that Nadia was still alive, with the opportunity of meeting her again. He couldn't even answer whether he love Nadia or not. It might have been no more then an idea, an ideal, but it was the hope that kept him alive for the past seven years._

_His old dreams of advancing forward seemed so pointless now: the original plan of earning a lot of money to support his family and then his goal of giving his brother education and additional hopes of promotion, with the believe that he was doing right. Now his three sisters had all married and he lost touch with them many years ago, while he had disowned his brother just for the crime of having his own mind._

_One thing he achieved was being a superior officer, occupying Omar's rank. He would laugh sourly inside whenever anyone saluted him, it was a literal stab in the back._

"_You will find me in the next life, if not in this one." Could he believe that? He didn't even know what religion Nadia followed, but it would defiantly not be his one. He was an atheist with the theory that there was only one life: thus justifying his ambitions of getting the best._

_Sure, they taught him with the Koran and he praised the name of Allah and Mohammad whenever he was required to, he worshipped in the mosques and fasted too, but he never once believed. He did these things as his country required it, not out of the necessity of religion._

"_Sir, you are assigned to deal with the groups of American missionaries." Someone informed him. "They are allowed to stay in Iraq for three months and do their preaching as long as they do no cause any trouble."_

_Nodding, Sayid presented himself to the Christian missionaries. From the moment he shook their leader's hand, he felt a strange power radiating from this seemingly normal pastor. The man was middle-aged and slightly bald, not of a towering height or heavily built either. He wore simple jeans that were slightly torn with a t-shirt._

"_So, tell me about you religion." The man asked Sayid, who reluctantly agreed to show them around Tikrit._

"_I am not here to talk." Sayid replied bluntly, adding inside his head: I shouldn't even be here, the dealings with idiotic Christians should certainly not be part of my job. doubt _

_But despite his scepticism Sayid found himself drawn to the teachings of the Christian God when the Pastor began with the aid of his three assistances. When the first month ended Sayid finally spoke to the man alone._

"_You say your God will forgive everyone, will he be able to forgive the killers as well as the innocents?" Sayid whispered._

_The Pastor smiled kindly, knowing that the man in front of him was one who had his full share of suffering and crimes. "God will forgive all who truly wishes to repent."_

"_All that I did…" Sayid chocked, he had to grab his rifle tightly to steady his shaking body. "After doing all these inhuman acts can I still be forgiven?"_

_The pastor nodded._

Sayid lifted his head as he ended his prayer. How could he ever think about torturing anyone again?

He knew when Minta woke up as her weight shifted so slightly, bending down he kissed her, waiting for her to open his eyes.

The lids lifted and her eyes immediately brightened at the mere sight of him, a contrast to the time when they were filled with horror and revulsion.

"Sayid, you look so happy." She said.

"I'm always happy when I look at you." He said, smiling broadly, wrapping the loose strand of hair around his finger. "And also because I now know what I must do."

The words were whispered into her ears and she embraced him tightly when she learnt of it. The happiness in her smile made Sayid realize that he would go through any obstacles just to preserve the smile.

"But we don't have to go back yet." Sayid said. "The shelter still need to be build, and I really like spending my nights here."

At this reference Minta laughed, remembering the time that they made love under the possible eyes of everyone on the beach. Later on, it seems that Hurley and Charlie were defiantly two witnesses, as neither two could look at Sayid or Minta in the face without blushing slightly. It was not that she minded much but she did prefer a few privacy, which the beach does not offer.

"Trying to get me pregnant?" she teased back. "But then Sayid, you will have see me fat and ugly."

"You will never be that." He won the argument as he silenced her with more kisses.

As a result the tiny shelter was not finished until a few days later. When they finally decided to return, they had been absent for almost a week.

Upon entering the two were immediately squeezed into a massive bear hug by Hurley. Amidst the trio's laughter Sayid made a little face of mock pain towards Minta, but she knew that in truth, he was deeply touched at actually being missed.

Seeing Sun, Minta raised a hand and cheerfully waved at her. The Korean woman chocked and turning to her husband, dragged him to the trio. Seeing Sayid and Minta, Jin sprouted out words in rapid Korean.

"He says that we are all so happy to see you two safe." Sun translated.

"It is merely a spot in the jungle a few miles away." Sayid laughed uneasily, very shocked at the wide amount of concern they gave him. "It is not as if I went back to search for Danielle or something!"

"Well, well, well, if it ain't our favorite Arab!" from the half bantering tone Sayid immediately guessed the speaker's identity. Perhaps the greatest surprise so far, was that he was glad to see the man who a few weeks ago he had loathed and even tortured.

"Well, well, well, if it ain't our favorite redneck." He mocked back, mimicking Sawyer's southern accent, causing the man to laugh and actually hug him. Sayid tensed slightly but then he relaxed and accepted his friend's show of concern gratefully.

"And the fair lady." Taking Minta's hand Sawyer raised it to his lips and kissed it gallantly.

_Author's Note: I must strongly emphasize that this is just a story, a fan fiction. I'm not using it as a symbol or anything. So to all the readers, please don't get offended because Sayid is converted to Christianity instead of any other religion, monotheism or polytheism._

_I think a friendship between Sawyer and Sayid is not so strange, as in Episode 6 Sayid and Sawyer worked together to handcuff Jin, and the bit when he chucked the apple to Sawyer, also the fact that Sayid actually told Sawyer about the voice._


	8. Do these odd images come to haunt you?

_Author's Note:_ _Phew, my English assessment is finally done, I am so relieved. Well, this part 2 of my fan fiction is almost finished, I now just need to tie the 'loose end in._

_**Morticia Black Rose**: My deepest apology for keep on spelling your name wrong, I must have a mind blank as I kept on spelling it wrong by missing the I  (sorry)._

_**October Sky:** I am glad that you have more stories, I can't wait to read them as soon as I can! Thanks for the reviews, unfortunately there won't be much Sawyer-Sayid friendship in the rest of this stories, but there'll be more in Part 3. By the way, I guess it is quite unlike Jake to go off, but if he was having a really really bad day then it might be a bit possible. The kind of day that you just explode!_

_Disclaimer: Please see first page._

After being welcomed back, Sayid was still determined to announce his decision. Holding Minta's hand he marched to the cave where Jack was.

"Sayid!" Jack cried out in surprise, clearly taken back by the sudden arrival of the Middle Eastern man.

Kate, on the other hand, stood up to embrace the two of them.

The third of party in the cave was Charlie, he neither welcomed Sayid warmly or reacted with any feelings. He was still gazing forward vacantly. If Sayid had paid any attention, then he would have immediately recognized the man's syndrome.

"Sayid…": Jack muttered awkwardly, not wanting to face the man's calm and steady gaze. Shoving his hands in the pocket he continued. "I am sorry for…"

"Save the apology for later if you truly mean it." Sayid interrupted crisply. "I am not going to torture Ethan."

At the mentioning of the name Charlie quickly looked up, he then immediately focused his gaze on his hands. Kate made a quick shook of her head, then did a gesture of shooting.

"I killed Ethan." Charlie stated flatly, seeing through Kate's mime. "I shot him four times and no, I am not sorry at all."

Saying so Charlie stood up and left them.

"When did this happen?" Sayid demanded.

"The day after you left."

"And who talked to him? Surely someone…"

"We thought he would certainly want to be alone." Jack muttered. "Bedside, I don't know how to help him, what should I say?"

"I suppose I can't blame you, but do you want to ruin him by leaving him consumed by his action?" Sayid said bitterly. "I guess I ought to talk to him, after all I am 'experienced' in such a thing."

When night came many of them gathered around a bon fire, amongst them were Sayid and Minta, who only just returned. The rest were still having mixed feelings in regard to Sayid due to his old job but Sayid no longer mind, he understand that it was a hard choice to accept.

Beside, Minta was there. He was twisting a flower into her dark hair while half listening to Hurley and Sawyer- who were discussing something about a golf tournament tying in with a laue.

"And Minta can be our first price." Hurley suggested. "The winner can have the first dance of the laue with her. Cause dude, we all know how hard it is to tear you two apart."

"I am entering then,." Sawyer announced, he took Minta's hand but she only giggled to withdrew it and throw her two arms around Sayid's neck.

"You will enter right, Sayid?" she teased. "After all, would you really let me be torn away from you like this?"

"I will just like to mention. The first price is not allow to help in anyway!" Hurley added, swept into the cheerful spirit.

At this, the couple exchanged a look of amusement before they exploded into laughter.

"Let me tell you about what happened the last time Minta played golf." Sayid began good naturally. "You will have no idea at the damages that she can do with a club…"

(Blank)

Charlie could no longer bear to watch Sayid and Minta anymore. He had always envy them to be able to be in such a loving relationship. To make up even after all their problems. He didn't know much saved that she was in a mental breakdown due to something Sayid did in the past. The rumor was finally confirmed when Sayid's past as a torturer was discovered.

He wished he could be like that with Claire…it was clear to him that she was avoiding him after he shot Ethan. It was not as if she mourned for the man who threatened to harm her baby, but his killing made her scarred…

Moodily he sank onto the grass near the river and began to jab at the round viciously. As he did so he suddenly saw Ethan there again, he had to grab his gun and fire…and fire…

A polite cough made him swept around, he only relaxed slightly when he saw Sayid. In a way it was hard to not suspect him, the Iraqi man had lived a life that was completely different to almost everyone else's. A country ravaged by war, a life devoted to soldering. How many, Charlie suddenly thought, would he have killed?

"I hope I am not disturbing you, but my wife insists that I pick the flowers here for her." Sayid said easily.

At the mentioning of Minta Charlie loosened more, surely this man could not be that bad if he love his wife so much, and he was always so tender and gentle with her. But he had tortured Sawyer for her…

"So you see what you did in your mind every night when you try to sleep." Sayid said very calmly as he bent down to examine the flowers under the patch glowing with the moon's light. "You felt nothing when you pulled the trigger and carried on doing whatever else on your list of daily routine. But as soon as you are about to sleep, the images come."

Charlie could only nod, seeing this Sayid continued. "It is not a matter of whether you are in the right or not, that comes later, but now it is the fact that you actually killed someone. Take my advice Charlie, for I know what I am talking about. If you continue retreating then you will end up with the worse solution. You will slowly accept your action, and even completely justify it. Eventually…you'll be no worse then a killer, ready to kill again and again. Even though repent is always possible, it will be so much more harder then your other choice.

"The other path is not so easy either, as even though one day you will be able to come to terms with your self, the memory of you killing would still haunt you at odd times."

"And do these odd images come to haunt you?" Charlie asked, detecting the sad and bitter tone of the other man.

"I wish I can see images of a single occasion. "Sayid whispered hoarsely. "But I see montages of events."

"Have you killed that many?" Charlie chocked, half-afraid.

"I was assigned to the firing squad for a whole month." Sayid said quietly. "I did not talk about it or even ask for forgiveness. I justify it. This is why my road of redemption is so hard. I did too many worse things as I accepted my actions."

"What did you do?"

"I was what you call an interrogator, the word used to cover a torturer's real name. I often wonder, which of my two actions is worse? Being the hand that shot the bullets or being the one who made them pray for death?

"But I want to tell you one thing. Don't give up you hopes, redemption is possible. And if Claire really love you then she will be able to understand and forgive you. I am not saying that it will be quick or anytime soon, but if Minta could forgive me after all the crimes that I committed, which is worse then what you did a few days ago, then so can Claire."


	9. She was all he need

_Author's Note:_ _Ok, the last chapter of this one. Just wrapping the loose end up. ___

_Disclaimer: Please see first page._

"I suppose I could always share some of the alcohols I managed to find…" Sawyer was saying reluctantly.

"That you salvaged!" Minta laughed, her eyes constantly darting to the entrance, waiting for Sayid to return.

"Well, sultana let's just say… Sawyer begin flippantly but his voice suddenly sobered, but only so slightly. "Well, well, well, if isn't the noble doctor coming to talk to us. Maybe the sultana should cover herself as befitted of a woman with such a high status, when she greets one whose rank is lower then her."

"Sayid is anything but your stereotypical middle-eastern man." Minta said with a roll of her eyes.

"That I know." He promised her sincerely. "I truly realize this now."

Awkwardly Jack made his way across to Sawyer, Minta and Hurley when Sayid had left. He wasn't sure what was worse: the slight glare of Sawyer or the now gentle smile of Minta. At least Hurley enthusiastically bombarded Jack with plans of his luau.

"So…Sayid is…"

"Picking flowers for me." Minta examined out with a laugh. "The model husband!"

"Picking flowers?"

"And talking to Charlie," here her eyes darkened. "Talking to Charlie about acceptance and redemption."

"Yeah…I thought Sayid might talk to Charlie." The doctor mumbled, he finally took a deep breath and said what he intended to say all along. "I am sorry for what I did the other day, I just…"

"Strange how people come to me with their 'I'm sorry's when it is Sayid that they should apologize to." Here her voice hardened. "It is Sayid that you insulted, Jack, not me.

"But I don't fully blame you, after all I made the same mistake." She admitted. "That was a betrayal of Sayid's love as it shows that I did not trust him."

Whatever Jack wanted to say was interrupted by Walt, who stomped his way toward them and planted himself down right there, crossing his arms defying. He had barely sat down when Michael marched toward Walt.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"I am going to talk to Minta, is that now allowed either?." Walt snapped.

"I…" Michael swallowed his screams angrily. His son had a point, as his instructions was: stay away from Locke and Sayid, he had failed to include Minta. The problem was that Minta was often in the company of her husband.

"I am just going to talk to her for a while." Walt continued steadily.

"You are not going to talk to her!" The outraged father decided to scream at his son. "I don't want you to talk to Minta or Sawyer either. Don't you ever listen to me? I bet everyone else listens to their father."

"Well, I guess I did." Jack supplied helpfully, but he muttered under his breath. "Perhaps I listened to him too well."

"I kind of did too." Hurley agreed.

"Hmm…at ten? I think that was the time when my daddy kind of went nuts! So nope, I did not listen to my daddy." Winking at Walt, Sawyer added wickedly. "You probably shouldn't either."

"Sawyer! Leave my boy alone!" Michael warned.

"Tell me why then?" Walt challenged. He could understand about Sawyer, who was defiantly not the kindest person on the island. But what was wrong with both Locke and Sayid? They had been kind to him since the first day that they crashed on the island. And why should he stay away from Minta? Didn't he looked after her once?

"I cannot answer for Locke but Sayid...it might be hard to believe but you see, my husband has done bad stuff before." Minta explained to the child gently. "Even though he would never do them again, your father is simply afraid that you might be ham by Sayid."

"That is so stupid!" Walt examined out with the logic of a child. "If Sayid says that he would never do them again, why are we acting as if he will?"

Minta was not the only one who blushed.

Sayid was watching the little parental talk from a hidden spot. In a way he envied Michael as the man was father to a child, he dearly wanted a child with the wife he love so much. They had dreamt of having children as soon as they marry, in fact, they spent their time on the air plane to Australia deciding the name of their first child.

At the mentioning of fathers he smiled wistfully to himself. Neither he or Minta was a good person to answer the question. Minta was ten when her parents disowned her after a long beating, due to her failure of learning Hebrew. As for him, he no longer had a father to obey at the age of ten.

"I tried to be a father," he said to himself. "And I failed. I only hope I can succeed with my real child, unlike my siblings."

He stepped out of the shadows and went up to his friends and wife.

Sayid and Minta were walking along the beach, hand in hands. Unconsciously he pressed his hand against her still flat abdomen.

"Fatherhood seems a trying job." He finally said. "Michael is certainly having a hard time."

"You will be different Sayid," she prophesized. "You will be a good father: what mine failed to be, and what yours would be."

Embracing her Sayid kissed his wife with great relish, holding onto her tightly. Maybe they would be blessed with an abundance of children trailing after them, maybe they would only have one child, or they might not even have any children at all.

But no matter what the outcome was, Sayid could accept it, because she was enough. She was all that he need in his life.

Author's Note: Ok, this is the end of Part 2 of my series. Big thanks to Morticia Black Rose and October Sky, you two really motivated me in typing this up. It might take sometime for Part 3 to be posted as I have to rewrite a large proportion of it. Warning: in the next story things are going to get…'strange'? Basically major changes are going to happen, as I will be using my theory of the island/past in the next story. So be prepare for quite some changes and bizarre ideas!


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